我很累,实在很累.我很想找个依靠,却找不着.我的靠岸不知停落在何方.
我不想说我不开心,因为我没不开心,也没特别的开心.
心很静.我希望那不是麻木.
我忙,时间排得满满但千万不要老是叫我多休息,我讨厌听到.
我的事,我会做好,不需别人来管.
我累..不仅是肉体上,心灵上,精神上,思想上我都累.
或许是自己的健康差吧!体力不够强,我觉得累.
这世界不沉闷,它太精彩了..只是,我不知有没有足够的体力与能耐去体验.
别人眼中,我很强.
所以我极力去撑,不许倒~
不知能撑到几久呢…
我很累…真的很累..
在我静默的时候,请给我一个拥抱.
别让我认为一个小小的要求是一种奢望.
那会让我觉得..这世界很冷~
我即将回来了.
那一天听到他对着我哭,我才恍悟我的错.我实在错得彻底.无形中,我也把他伤得很深.一直以来,他能忍则忍.在我面前,无论如何都很强的.想不到,他竟哭了…想当然耳,他真的倒了,受不了了..
那一刻,我只觉得”轰”一声.原来错的都是我,变的都是我啊!!
baby,对不起.用错了方式去爱你~
好在他愿跟我谈.纵然心痛,却也轻松了不少.那个结解开了..他真的是个好男孩,不会因为我的改变而抛下我转身离去.反而还愿意陪在我身边,陪我重新站起来.
我很感激也很庆幸.. ^^
我的自信心,我的笑容,我的快乐..我都要找回来.当兵时的我,是最棒的.他,就是当时陪着我的,也一直在看着我转变的男友..他每一句话都骂醒我了.也断定他是真的很在乎我,很爱我的.我活得幸福,就是给他最大的信心.
我必须快速找回当时的我.我是教师,若这点小事都做不好,家长们又怎能放心让他们的孩子给我教呢?
我不要再听到他哭了,不要有下次了.还有在我身边一直陪我的朋友们,对不起让你们担心,也谢谢你们一直在我身边辅导我~ ^^
我会坚持到底,证明给你们看我可以!!
p/s:今天是一位男生的生日.不知他还记得我没..想跟他说声:”生日快乐.谢谢你曾陪我走过那一段日子.谢谢你.也衷心祝福你~”
我的失踪,
因为我沉默.
我沉默,
因为我无话可说.
i have a bad start for 2008.
i welcomed it with my tears, with my sadness.
how will it be..?i don’t know.
the days follow, i don’t really feel happy even i still smile, laugh n play with my friends.
the pressure don’t get least after my STPM.it is still gaining..
i feel hard to continue living in this situation..
feel like i couldn’t get into this life, this place, this earth..
is there any other place to suit me?
ANY?
i’m always get disappointed.but i’m always say “it’s ok.”
i ask myself everytime..is that really i’m fine?
or i answer just to give he/she a satisfied answer?
just like what he/she think it’s supposed to be..
i lost my way..i feel that.
i keep crying.cry no use.
i keep saying sorry.sorry no cure.
WHY?
for what i’m living now?
everything is just like get over-turned.
my happy, my smile..keep going far away from me.
the more i want to approach them, the more far i’m kept from them.
haiz..
why i can’t get what i want?why i can’t do the things i want?why i can’t give the best thing for myself and the loved one?
my friends…
i keep let them worry about me.
i try to act nothing happen, i try to give the most perfect smile to them.
BUT,
i just can’t do it.
my heart is so bitter.bitter until my tears drop down in anytime, anywhere..
2008..
in the age of 20..
what will i get…
what will be happened in my life?
or rather
how will be my life?
OH, PLEASE..
return me..
my HAPPY..
i want it back…
